Lately the main question I've gotten is why am I so down/tired. Here's the answer: There are so many things going on in my life. I know I don't have the worst life. That's not my point. My point is people around me think I'm just this never ending giver. That's cool, but I'd appreciate a little sign of care every once in a while. Things have gotten to the point where I just don't care anymore because I'm tired of putting in all the effort to friendships and finding myself wondering what the point of all this is. Maybe I expect too much because my friends back home have become like a family to me. Unconditional endless love and never an awkward moment that can't be laughed about. I don't know. But there are so many factors going on in my life right now that I try to go through every day with a smile, but I can't. It's not in me. I don't have the energy to be fake and when I'm home, I just want to relax. I don't want to keep that smile going when things inside me feel like a box that keeps getting smaller as each day passes by. Of course I know things will work out in the end. I don't want to share it all with the world. It's just all the people I thought would be here for me during this time, seem to have disappeared. Don't be surprised if I simply don't care anymore. There are too many other factors going wrong in my life for yours to be a priority for fixing. Sorry, but I can't help but be blunt about it. At least I'm not faking it.
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